There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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