he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
