great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize