We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
