I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
