Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
