I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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