yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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