Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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