I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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