On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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