Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think my vagina is haunted
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
