and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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