The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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