maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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