I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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