you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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