what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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