You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize