i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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