I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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