Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
