as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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