yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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