Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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