Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
