The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
