dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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