Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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