wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
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My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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