I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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