I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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