my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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