It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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