It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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