we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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