I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
