I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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