wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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