Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
