my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
