He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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