the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
