i just google imaged poop.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
