hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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