we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
