Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
