margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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