I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
