look no pants
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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