yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize