I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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