i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
