Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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