You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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