I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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