i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The beer is more important than you right now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
