I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
