Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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