I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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