Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
