you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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