I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you had me at cake vodka
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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