STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
